Living Two Lives…

For those who face the struggles of depression and anxiety , it often feels like you are forced to live two very different lives. There’s the life that the world sees – full of laughter, smiles, and even success. There’s a fear with letting them see the real you, because they will never understand. Then there’s the inner life that no one ever sees. That life is overwhelmingly sad and depressed all of the time. It’s full of demons that try to tell you that you are worthless, and will never amount to anything. There’s a voice inside your head that screams at you…’if they really cared about you, they would see that something wasn’t right’.

Sadly, it’s those voices that so often win. People fall victim to all of the negative, toxic influences of the world and they just don’t know what to do or where to turn. I started doing a little research and the rate of deaths by suicide has steadily increased over the last 15 years. So often, this death could have been avoided, if only someone had looked a little closer and known the signs to look for. Most of the time, the cries for help are very subtle, but believe me, they are there.

I will never claim to be an expert on the topic, if there is even such a thing.  I don’t know that all the education in the world can completely prepare you to help someone.  But I am just someone who has been down that lonely, desperate road…and somehow found my back. I don’t share my story lightly…the path of pain, and self-disgust, and even self-harm…it was a very hard road to deal with.  Even with the right medications and practices, I don’t think that you can ever be truly healed.  You just learn to have better days, and how to handle the rough ones.  I have to believe that God allowed me to travel down such a dangerous journey, so that as the overly compassionate person that I am… I could somehow be the voice to help others understand. But I am also the voice to those suffering….that it is possible to overcome the nightmare, and strive to live a full and rewarding life.

Remember – there is always a way to make it through the storms.  Your will has to be stronger than the storm itself.

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