Such a gloomy day weighs on the mood…

I haven’t posted in a couple of days…. But even what I have posted lately I don’t feel like I’ve been writing to my true potential. Sometimes the chaos and clutter of everyday life takes a bigger toll on us that we think. I have NOT lost sight of my goals…but I certainly do feel like I have lost control of my time. I don’t have nearly enough time to dedicate to chasing those dreams as I would like.

Everyone talks about all of these things you can do to recharge yourself on a daily basis, like meditation and other quiet time things like that. These are practices that are supposed to allow you to relax and totally let go for a period of time in order to become better. Here’s where I have a problem with that. I’ve tried meditation, and do frequently use a guided meditation to help me fall to sleep at night. But, I never feel like I completely relax, and I sure don’t know how to turn off my mind. So, I toss and turn all night. I know practice should improve ability…but, somehow, I don’t think that it has helped me much.

I find my mind running crazy at times when I can actually sit and write, and when I do find a few minutes to write, the words won’t come. It’s almost like I see great things that others write and think to myself…well, they said that so much better than I did. How can I possibly cover that now? Or, how do I write and NOT include so much about me. Ironically, when I first decided to start the blog, I never really considered implementing my own stories into it so much. I was going to pick a topic and write about my viewpoints, but not necessarily plant my personal story into the post. Very quickly, I found myself opening up more and more. And the responses I started getting, made me feel like it was the right thing to do.

I guess I am just having a gloomy day, most certainly brought on by the rainy, gloomy weather here in Texas today. But, it gives me reason to find more ways to try to find time to do what I am here to do, which is help others through life.


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