She longer to feel the blade tear through her skin,
That was her only release for all her pain.
No one understood her, or even cared to try.
She knew when she saw the trail of red come,
The relief, however temporary,wouldn’t be far behind.
So for now, that was the only way she could survive.
She hid the marks so that no one else would see them, People would only call her crazy and judge her to her face,
Then that would start up the cycle all over again.
Why could she never really cut out the pain,
The marks all seemed to stay relatively superficial.
Was she really super crazy after all, she thought??
She felt like such a failure in her life these days,
She was good for nothing, and definitely good for no one.
She just wasn’t worthy enough to ever possibly love
She wasn’t brave enough to make the marks too deep,
She somehow felt the twinge of a thousand paper cuts,
Was far more excruciating than a single gash would be.
She knew she needed help to ever completely stop,
But she just couldnt risk all the judgments to come.
So she suffered alonge for what seemed an eternity
The sting of the blades started up once more,
The lines of red only trickled mere drop though.,
She continued to hide her pain and also her shame
Someday deeper healing would come and take it all away.
She actually prayed for that almost every day.
Deep down she didn’t want to be this way.
Someday someone would see beyond her fake smile,
Would see all the pain and tears in her heart.
And guide her to lasting. help and the hope of a better day..
This was something i wrong several years ago, during one of my darkest times. Each day is a victory and help finally came!!