The pain is excruciating, the emotions are quite raw. I may yell, or cry…I want to throw up, I want to sleep without the drenching night sweats. I want to be normal, I think….or at least to be ok. The way I am right now sucks, I really suggest that folks just stay away. I don’t want to bite heads off, or meltdown when someone simply says hi.
I have come so far I think, to let it all just slip away. But most in my circle of daily life just dont have a clue how I really am. That saddens me in a way, because it says that no one seems to care enough to see that I only wear a mask. Solitude would be great right now, to just let it all out and others not have to accidentally see.