Even on the best of days, when you think that everything is the best it has ever been…. And the slightest trigger, that you didn’t know was a trigger….jumps up and slaps you in the face. It can be a lyric in a song, something a person says, a smell….absolutely anything. I guess to some degree, it has been one of those days. Not to the point of retreating to my old ways of depression, self harm, etc…..but this is more of a trigger that says I’ve got to make a true difference.
I have briefly shared some of the differences with me…things I’ve been through, things I’ve done…things I believe… I feel life much differently than most. Yes, I said I FEEL it…. that is how I go through life. And believe me, that’s not always a good thing. I feel all the hurt and pain of others, I feel the grief, Confrontations physically pain me. Most in the field of energy work call me an Empath. I am over-sensitive to the world around. And sadly for me, I am more susceptible to all of the negative. I am co-dependent due to many things in my life, and I have a VERY addictive nature. Again, not good ways to be.
But my compassion and almost gut felt need to help people, has taken over as of late. I want to stretch myself wide, engulfing those that battle the mental and physical pain from their inner demons in a soul freeing hug that would take everything away. I know, it will never be that easy!!
Reality is that most of us will never even remotely get near the world of the celebrities…but, things that happen to them – does affect countless people. I like to think that I am very versatile when it comes to the movies I watch, the music I listen to, etc. I have chosen the last few days to soak up all of the music of a certain band, instead of just the few random songs that I normally listen to. The more I listen, and the more I read about the person behind the lyrics….the more I feel the pain, the demons, the overwhelming gauntlet of emotions that he wrote about. Many songs have now stuck out to me….. and I guess this is where the catalyst comes to play for my life and my goals. I am realistic in knowing that my words of encouragement, inspiration, and hopefully motivation will most likely not ever reach anyone with the walls of the famous celebrities. But, is that selling myself short?? Why can’t what I have to say be just what someone of their caliber needs to hear.
The biggest key, of course, would be how to even put myself in their path. I’ve got a lot of evaluating to do….research….progress to make! I want to change lives…. and damn it…. I will make it happen!!